consider yourself very lucky that anyone cared about your mental health . I had bulimia for decades and i thought I
was hiding it well but as it turns out everyone in my family knew. I was desperate for help but no one said a word. I finally stopped but no thanks to anyone. it is a very humiliating disease snd shameful about which to talk even today.
It's unfortunate you didn't get help from loved ones when you needed it the most. I celebrate your courage and determination that helped you overcome your disease and get well. It's something to be proud of.
I am one of those moms to several adult children with mental illness or addiction problems. Thank you for this. At times, I too must step away, even while always ‘on call’ for a crisis. It is a lot, but not being there would be worse.
I just finished your book. I think of you and pray you are well. I also want you to know, I’m sorry for the loss of your mom. May she rest in peace.
Insightful piece, Sarah. It offers a perspective that only amplifies the empathy we can hope to feel for others with chronic health conditions, and their caretakers. There's a lot of nuance in your essay; that delicate way of giving grace to your mother/caretaker as a way to give back and heal your relationship together.
I am so sorry your relationship with your mother deteriorated through the experience.
Your writing is very brave, and I appreciate how you’re bringing perspective and light to this topic.
I wonder if this reflection is being kind of hard on yourself, though.
Caregivers - those that aren’t paid - choose to care, miraculously, and often out of love. Which is a mysterious thing.
When you claim responsibility, and seemingly guilt, for your mother’s own decline in mental health - that seems to have been triggered by yours, albeit to a lesser degree, from what you’ve shared - it implies a generalization that others do, or should, as well.
I think this may be kind of unfair, both to yourself and others who struggle - and to your mom’s agency, for that matter - & it pours fuel on the already raging stigma against those handed diagnoses of mental illness.
Perhaps placing less blame and guilt or shame on yourself - and others who struggle -, and instead pouring a whole heaping lot of self-compassion, and compassion, on the struggles of everyone involved, could better help to stop these wildfires of stigma that perpetuate suffering all around.
I appreciate your vulnerability, and offer my comments not to attack or criticize, but to promote compassion and justice for everyone involved, and to honor the truth and mystery of love that can surround choices to care.
That your mother has passed before your relationship could fully heal and recover is heartbreaking. I can imagine how that kind of pain might feel unbearable. Thank you for writing through it with us. Wishing you peace & wholeness. May her memory bring blessings.
Why would you give voice to the ignorant opinion, "...what some consider the worst policy change in the history of mental health care in the United States: deinstitutionalization."? Are you creating drama so you can sell your products to the mass majority, who likely do not know much about mental health policy? The Community Mental Health Policy and planning of the 1970s and 80s were humane and realistic. The failure, as you explain later in your article, was indeed based on inadequate funding. Voters lack the information to elect the best candidates; and elected officials often divide their focus between supporting what they believe are the best policies for the long-run and doing what will get them re-elected in a few years.
Few elected policy makers take the risks to both create and effectively promote the very best long-range policies. The courageous and righteous Kennedys did indeed do the latter (based on the Wyatt vs. Stikney Case, 1971, Tuscaloosa, Al.) Many Community Mental Health systems were created and they innovated community-based interventions like Crisis Intervention; Suicide Prevention; and Police partnerships with mental health providers. Neither the Kennedys nor thier influential allies could prevent erosion of funds for the Community Mental Health movement, regardless of the early successes.
Qualifying myself: in the early 1970s I helped build our Community Mental Health System in Western New York and have been proud of the outcomes; also I had the privilege of working on community projects with Jack Drake, one of the plaintiff attorneys that brought patient Wyatt's lawsuit against Stikney and the State of Alabama.
Please continue advocating for evidence based mental health practice, Ms Fay, and for the best systems. And please build a win-win tone, toning-down the dramatic rhetoric.
consider yourself very lucky that anyone cared about your mental health . I had bulimia for decades and i thought I
was hiding it well but as it turns out everyone in my family knew. I was desperate for help but no one said a word. I finally stopped but no thanks to anyone. it is a very humiliating disease snd shameful about which to talk even today.
It's unfortunate you didn't get help from loved ones when you needed it the most. I celebrate your courage and determination that helped you overcome your disease and get well. It's something to be proud of.
thank you
I am one of those moms to several adult children with mental illness or addiction problems. Thank you for this. At times, I too must step away, even while always ‘on call’ for a crisis. It is a lot, but not being there would be worse.
I just finished your book. I think of you and pray you are well. I also want you to know, I’m sorry for the loss of your mom. May she rest in peace.
Insightful piece, Sarah. It offers a perspective that only amplifies the empathy we can hope to feel for others with chronic health conditions, and their caretakers. There's a lot of nuance in your essay; that delicate way of giving grace to your mother/caretaker as a way to give back and heal your relationship together.
I am so sorry your relationship with your mother deteriorated through the experience.
Your writing is very brave, and I appreciate how you’re bringing perspective and light to this topic.
I wonder if this reflection is being kind of hard on yourself, though.
Caregivers - those that aren’t paid - choose to care, miraculously, and often out of love. Which is a mysterious thing.
When you claim responsibility, and seemingly guilt, for your mother’s own decline in mental health - that seems to have been triggered by yours, albeit to a lesser degree, from what you’ve shared - it implies a generalization that others do, or should, as well.
I think this may be kind of unfair, both to yourself and others who struggle - and to your mom’s agency, for that matter - & it pours fuel on the already raging stigma against those handed diagnoses of mental illness.
Perhaps placing less blame and guilt or shame on yourself - and others who struggle -, and instead pouring a whole heaping lot of self-compassion, and compassion, on the struggles of everyone involved, could better help to stop these wildfires of stigma that perpetuate suffering all around.
I appreciate your vulnerability, and offer my comments not to attack or criticize, but to promote compassion and justice for everyone involved, and to honor the truth and mystery of love that can surround choices to care.
That your mother has passed before your relationship could fully heal and recover is heartbreaking. I can imagine how that kind of pain might feel unbearable. Thank you for writing through it with us. Wishing you peace & wholeness. May her memory bring blessings.
✨🕊️❤️🩹🕊️✨
Why would you give voice to the ignorant opinion, "...what some consider the worst policy change in the history of mental health care in the United States: deinstitutionalization."? Are you creating drama so you can sell your products to the mass majority, who likely do not know much about mental health policy? The Community Mental Health Policy and planning of the 1970s and 80s were humane and realistic. The failure, as you explain later in your article, was indeed based on inadequate funding. Voters lack the information to elect the best candidates; and elected officials often divide their focus between supporting what they believe are the best policies for the long-run and doing what will get them re-elected in a few years.
Few elected policy makers take the risks to both create and effectively promote the very best long-range policies. The courageous and righteous Kennedys did indeed do the latter (based on the Wyatt vs. Stikney Case, 1971, Tuscaloosa, Al.) Many Community Mental Health systems were created and they innovated community-based interventions like Crisis Intervention; Suicide Prevention; and Police partnerships with mental health providers. Neither the Kennedys nor thier influential allies could prevent erosion of funds for the Community Mental Health movement, regardless of the early successes.
Qualifying myself: in the early 1970s I helped build our Community Mental Health System in Western New York and have been proud of the outcomes; also I had the privilege of working on community projects with Jack Drake, one of the plaintiff attorneys that brought patient Wyatt's lawsuit against Stikney and the State of Alabama.
Please continue advocating for evidence based mental health practice, Ms Fay, and for the best systems. And please build a win-win tone, toning-down the dramatic rhetoric.