Thank you for this deliciously REASONABLE piece on non-parenthood! I am childless not by choice (and very much at peace with that these days) and now 60, my work focuses on the 'adventure of elderhood without motherhood' - because whether it's choice/not-choice or one of the many nuanced places in-between, aging without children deserves more thought, and more support!
Here as a happily childfree woman to second @jodyday's remarks and thank you for this piece (hi, Jody!). Enjoyed your piece and appreciate that the conversation continues. There's still so much to be done. ♥️
Noting in my life has brought me more joy and satisfaction than my kids and now grandkids. I always knew I wanted them. If you do not feel the same, please do not have any! My heart breaks at all the unwanted and badly parented children.
Thanks for this thoughtfully articulated piece, helping to make a largely invisible population more visible. I belong to that population. I did want kids, it didn't work out for a whole myriad of reasons, but I don't believe my life is lesser as a result and am always happy to see myself represented positively in the media.
Thank you for this article, Sarah. I've just come across you - thanks to Jody Day! - and am delighted that I have. I swing between childless and childfree and keep having to invent terms for myself as I'm not keen on the boxes we have. I am childless/free by subconscious choice due to my upbringing. Or in simple terms, I don't have children. And thanks for those stats that show that we are not alone.
Happily child-free and squarely in the auntie category. I can be there for my pediatric patients and their parents more holistically because I’m not devoting time to children of my own.
The abandonment of postpartum mothers in the perinatal time is shameful in this country. A significant number of women go back to work within 2-4 weeks of delivery. Having attended thousands of births throughout my clinical career, this treatment of women and infants is absurd to me.
And we have no institutional support or even mandated parental leave for new parents. It’s okay to not want children in a situation that provides no support for raising them.
Sorry, but we're hurtling into a world of de-industrialization and famine its not really about shame and gender and all that stuff as the demographics have been baked in since the late 80's. Now its about how the next time, say, Canada has a recession there will not be enough consumers to eventually spend their way out and the recession will be permanent. Its about how you set up an economy of 6-continent wide supply chains to make a single product with no thought to the obvious inevitable catastrophe for kids 30 years your junior. And then put the retirement on the national credit card.
We're not a civilization that loves its kids, full stop. Of course you don't want any.
Why can’t people just say “don’t have children.” Labels imply some sort of judgment (good or bad) typically. Instead, we could just be descriptive. “She doesn’t have children” instead of “she is childless/childfree.” I don’t have children and I don’t feel like either of those labels describe me.
Thank you for this deliciously REASONABLE piece on non-parenthood! I am childless not by choice (and very much at peace with that these days) and now 60, my work focuses on the 'adventure of elderhood without motherhood' - because whether it's choice/not-choice or one of the many nuanced places in-between, aging without children deserves more thought, and more support!
Here as a happily childfree woman to second @jodyday's remarks and thank you for this piece (hi, Jody!). Enjoyed your piece and appreciate that the conversation continues. There's still so much to be done. ♥️
Love that we're here together!
I love what you're doing on Substack, Jody. It's so wonderful.
Noting in my life has brought me more joy and satisfaction than my kids and now grandkids. I always knew I wanted them. If you do not feel the same, please do not have any! My heart breaks at all the unwanted and badly parented children.
Thanks for this thoughtfully articulated piece, helping to make a largely invisible population more visible. I belong to that population. I did want kids, it didn't work out for a whole myriad of reasons, but I don't believe my life is lesser as a result and am always happy to see myself represented positively in the media.
Yes.
I’m a mother of one, and in some ways feel I’m not a ‘proper mother’ because I don’t have a tribe. One is a choice for me.
I remember in school, we’d read words like ‘barren woman’ in Shakespeare and as a teenager I was enraged that women were referenced this way.
Not much has changed it seems!
Thank you for this article, Sarah. I've just come across you - thanks to Jody Day! - and am delighted that I have. I swing between childless and childfree and keep having to invent terms for myself as I'm not keen on the boxes we have. I am childless/free by subconscious choice due to my upbringing. Or in simple terms, I don't have children. And thanks for those stats that show that we are not alone.
I'm so glad to have you! This: "Or in simple terms, I don't have children."
Happily child-free and squarely in the auntie category. I can be there for my pediatric patients and their parents more holistically because I’m not devoting time to children of my own.
The abandonment of postpartum mothers in the perinatal time is shameful in this country. A significant number of women go back to work within 2-4 weeks of delivery. Having attended thousands of births throughout my clinical career, this treatment of women and infants is absurd to me.
And we have no institutional support or even mandated parental leave for new parents. It’s okay to not want children in a situation that provides no support for raising them.
This is so cool: "I can be there for my pediatric patients and their parents more holistically because I’m not devoting time to children of my own."
Thank you for providing this background in quite neutral and simple terms -- it makes it all feel so normal, which is exactly what we need! :-)
I love that. Normalizing it.
P.S. The name of your Substack is genius.
Thanks!
Sorry, but we're hurtling into a world of de-industrialization and famine its not really about shame and gender and all that stuff as the demographics have been baked in since the late 80's. Now its about how the next time, say, Canada has a recession there will not be enough consumers to eventually spend their way out and the recession will be permanent. Its about how you set up an economy of 6-continent wide supply chains to make a single product with no thought to the obvious inevitable catastrophe for kids 30 years your junior. And then put the retirement on the national credit card.
We're not a civilization that loves its kids, full stop. Of course you don't want any.
Why can’t people just say “don’t have children.” Labels imply some sort of judgment (good or bad) typically. Instead, we could just be descriptive. “She doesn’t have children” instead of “she is childless/childfree.” I don’t have children and I don’t feel like either of those labels describe me.